Believe it or not, I can still remember clearly what it was like being me thirty three years ago when I was who you are right now.
I remember, for example, that I had three very clear goals for college in the fall. What I didn't realize at the time was that my three goals were mutually exclusive - if I really succeeded at any one of them, I would probably be unable to succeed at the other two.
My first goal, and I say first because it was the clearest, it was the one I thought I knew most exactly how to achieve, my first goal was to make the rowing team, win the national championship, and maybe make the Olympic Team. Like I said, having rowed in high school I thought I knew what it would take to achieve this goal.
My second goal was to do well in school. This came second because I knew I didn't really know what I was in for with college studies, or even to be honest why I wanted to do well. My motivation started out as external, to please my parents or to keep them off my back, depending on how rebellious I felt on any given day, but it became more personal as I went along, when I found a subject I loved and wanted do well badly enough so that I would to be able to keep doing it in graduate school and beyond.
So, #1 being a rowing superhero. #2 be a good student. You can probably guess what #3 was. My #3 was #3 because I couldn't actually say it aloud in front of my parents. They only knew about #s 1 and 2, and not in that order. Goal #3 - I wanted to go to college and have a blast, go to every party I could find on campus. To quote Rob Gronkowski, "Yo soy fiesta" was going to be my motto. I was a very busy bee who wanted to suck every last drop of nectar out of life.
Like I said, mutually exclusive goals - success at one would seem to exclude success at the others. Academic excellence is hard to achieve when you have exercised strenuously for 4 hours, starting at 5 in the morning, and vice versa. And, of course, partying promotes neither physical fitness nor academic achievement.
In the end, I made the team but didn't win the championship and was smoked at the national tryouts. It wasn't the subject I majored in as a freshman, but I fell in love with a subject which took me on a knowledge adventure for the next two decades and lead into the one that continues to this day as I thrill at learning more and more about new things. And the parties, well...yes...yo fui fiesta, and it was fun.
But this isn't about me. It's about you. And this is what I think you can put in the backpacks of your mind and bring with you on your journey. All the things I thought my goals were about weren't actually what they were about. What I thought were the ends were actually only the means to much bigger ends. The rowing was actually about the value and joy of teamwork, hard work, exploring limits, delighting in the physicality of life, never quitting, and finding some of my best friends for life. The studies became my way of life. A day without some new knowledge feels desolate and I try to learn something new and big every year. And the parties were about friendships, relationships, enjoying life, particularly the present moment. But I didn't realize any of this while I was living it because I wasn't paying attention because I was running so hard to the goals I set out before me on the horizon. But most importantly, I now know I didn't see because I was trying to go it alone, the rugged individualist. I didn't have anyone, a mentor, to show me as you can see now that my goals weren't mutually exclusive. They were all parts of who my soul longed to become.
Live your lives. Don't let them live you. You are setting out on a grand adventure and there will be many forks in the road. Don't take anything for granted or see anything as meaningless. Whatever or whoever it is may well be the moment of a new beginning or a the turn down a new path. Your life has meaning and purpose. Right now, each and every one of you has someone waiting for you out there, a mentor who is going to show you how to be you, your Obi-Wan, your Yoda, your Merlin or Gandalf, your special person who is going to introduce you to the meaning and purpose of your life, the same way your parents and coaches, your teachers and spiritual leaders, your scout and youth leaders have up to this point. It may be a professor or a priest, an advisor or a coach, a rabbi or an older student, a boss or someone you meet along the way, but she or he is waiting for you. Don't sweat it if she or he doesn't materialize at orientation. He or she will when the time is right. And in the meantime, all of us here at home will be wishing you well, praying for you, and being ready to celebrate and welcome you when you return.
No comments:
Post a Comment